The hardest part of any lifestyle change is persistence. It is the single thing that you must have. If you don't do anything consistently you will not see long term results. That's the nature of the beast. That's the reason I avoid using the word "diet". Its connotation leans to a temporary state of living. A diet is whatever you eat. I could be all veggies or all pizza. But it is now synonymous with Lemon juice and cayenne pepper detox bullshit and Super Colon Mega Ass Blaster ridiculousness. As you fine readers know (all 16 of you), Right now I am reading Eat To Live. It is really simple, yet extremely difficult. I posted a while back about the withdrawals I had from not having the chemicals in my body that I was used to. Headaches and irritability, which the latter is just a character flaw. This is a fact.
When I moved to my new place, I knew that it was going to be a struggle. Not because of the food we buy at the grocery store. I am fortunate to live with a bomb ass chick who not only reads this blog, but also eats really healthy shit. The struggle comes from money. I definitely have had to cut out all the workout supplements I was taking. That shit is expensive. It was 86'd with the quickness. $80 dollars for a workout enhancer? Ain't nobody got time for that! NO thank you.
I work for a little mom and pop operation. Its called Starbucks. I'm sure your not familiar. In any event, when the night is over, we have to through away food that has expired. We normally would donate it, but the charity we were giving it to turned out to not be a charity. Womp. So, we have to throw away the food. And by "throw", I mean shove it in a shopping bag, and "away" is a euphemism for my mouth hole. This whole rent and bills shit has seriously drained my non existent funds. So, when faced with an empty fridge, empty stomach, and empty bank account, I need that expired food for sustenance. It seriously kept me alive for a few days. However, blueberry scones and paninis are not on the good food list in Eat To Live. Its not calorie dense or anything. But when you are using food for fuel, you need to get the most bang for your calorie buck. Bread is not good fuel. It is chock full of complex carbs and nutrient deficient. It is also delicious. Like super awesome yummy in my tummy I want it in my mouth always delicious.
So I ate some bread for a couple days. What's the big deal? The problem lies in the crack in my armor, that slip up that reminds my mind of how fucking delicious bread is. It craves it. Its like the addict who has that sip of booze and all hell breaks loose. They are staring at the bottom of a fifth of whiskey and shame.
When you allow yourself to eat the foods that make you crave them, you are just setting yourself up for a struggle.You have to retrain your brain and start the battle all over again. You are shooting yourself in the foot.
This is the problem with the word "diet". Eating to live needs to be an all the time thing. If I let myself have a treat, that opens the door for more treats. Treating yourself because you were great at work that day. Treating yourself because you were horrible at work that day. Treating yourself because it is a day that ends in day. The rationalization are minds are capable of concocting when we want stuff that makes us happy is quite remarkable. The key is to not open that door. No cracks in the armor. Stay strong. Set your self up for success, not failure. Healthy food is delicious, once you break your self the confines of your processed food prison. The freshness is so bright on your tongue. To allow that manufactured garbage to muddy that up is just retroactive. I need to be proactive. No cheat days. No excuses.
I am turning my life around because my life turned around on me. I am 400 lbs and unemployed. I plan on changing both of that.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Manwich meal?
Against better judgement, I found my self neck deep in Dr. Oz. In case you are not familiar, Dr. Oz was promoted by Oprah Winfrey. Unlike Dr. Phil, he actually is a licensed doctor in an actual medical field. ( you should wiki Dr. Phil, gross) However, that doesn't mean he isn't a quack, it just means he is a quack who sells his soul to the devil to pay off his student loan debts. If you watch the show regularly, you will find that it is a revolving door of bullshit fad diets and get skinny fast malarkey. Snake oil tonics that blast belly fat! YAY! Anyone who has done an ounce of research knows that you cant target where you lose the fat. He may regurgitate long dispelled myths and spreading false hope, but its sweeps dammit!
That being said, sometimes you can get some great information on the show. Some legitimately helpful hints. But you have to slog through the muck and mire of charlatan hoohah to get to the very few nuggets of nutrition. Today was one of those days.
They had their Hungry Girl on today. Yes that is her stage name. We will get to that in a minute. She was talking about food expanders. I know. Thats not thing. Is that a thing? The idea behind it is, you use a healthy food to beef up your normal food to create bigger portions. Satiety, which she says in a weird way every time, is the key to a sustainable diet. I completely agree. When people ask me for advice I tell them, if you are hungry, you are doing it wrong. You should never be hungry. The key is to eat the right foods so if you eat enough for you to be satisfied all the time, the calories have to be in check. Tons of veggies. Some fruit. This will give you bulk without bulking up your BMI. A good example she gave: use portabella mushrooms to beef up your beef. Grind up the shrooms and mix them in with ground beef to make a huge meatloaf. It cuts down on the calories. Get the picture? Use zucchini noodles to beef up your regular noodles. Its a great idea and has endless possibilities. A person on facebook said she made "rice" by grating cauliflower. GENIUS! I live for stuff like that. But here is where they lost me.
She said that a woman could do this just to fill out her meal with healthy expanders. Not her hubby's or her kids.
Um, insert the record scratch here....
What the cock is that shit? Why wouldn't you want to make the healthiest meal possible for your family. I am already irritated that a successful woman is still chaining other women to the stove for all eternity. Skinny pretty people love a goddamn stereotype. But then to throw in this whole "cook your man what he wants, not what you want" nonsense? He should eat what you were nice enough to cook for him. Its the least he could do for keeping that glass ceiling shiny and oppressive dangling above your stove. Better yet, tell him that he can only eat 70% of what you get and see how quickly your pay starts to rise.
But that got me to thinking about the dynamics of gender in the way we eat. Guys pig out, girls eat like birds. Guys dont get fat like girls do. LIES! If a guy is 20 pounds overweight, its cute. If a girl is, she is a heifer that is to be shamed! Well after you fuck her and tell everyone she took advantage of you. 20 pounds overweight is the same either way. Guys are allowed to love all you can eat buffets. WHY?
Healthy foods are healthy because they cause great chemical reactions in your body. Ridding you of toxins, sustainable energy, proper nutrients. Everyone should eat that. If I was legally allowed to marry (ehem) I would gladly cook for my hubby. SO I would know that he is getting the proper nutrition.
The notion that men are just drooling primates eating transfats all day is just as sexist. Some of the fittest guys I know eat a diet you would think is weak. People have this misconception that the paleo diet consists of finding a gazelle at your local park and sharpening your flint tools to get your friend Ort to help you kill it and eat it while its soul is still trying to escape. In fact its similar to Eat to Live. Lots of leafy green veggies, fruit limited nuts. No gluten, carbs, sugar. Healthy men eat the same stuff that healthy women eat. Because we are both human. A penis is not required to digest spinach. I promise.
All of those ridiculous commercials that we see, like the HungryMan tv dinner, or activia yogurt (because only women need to poop) are just a ploy by food companies to make you buy gender specific foods. Which in and of itself is just laughable. Its like Lady Gilette razors. WTF?!? Razors shave differently for men and women? Normal soup for mom, and SUPER BEEFY EXTRA CHUNKY MAKES YOUR DICK BIGGER CHOWDER for dear old dad! The whole idea is gross. Just eat food that is delicious and natural. Stop buying into the hype of food companies. Their is no gender test for delicious.
I think that Hungry Girl should change her name because it steeped in shame. AWW, she is hungry but she cant eat food because she isnt a man. So super grossy gross. I cant. End Rant!
That being said, sometimes you can get some great information on the show. Some legitimately helpful hints. But you have to slog through the muck and mire of charlatan hoohah to get to the very few nuggets of nutrition. Today was one of those days.
They had their Hungry Girl on today. Yes that is her stage name. We will get to that in a minute. She was talking about food expanders. I know. Thats not thing. Is that a thing? The idea behind it is, you use a healthy food to beef up your normal food to create bigger portions. Satiety, which she says in a weird way every time, is the key to a sustainable diet. I completely agree. When people ask me for advice I tell them, if you are hungry, you are doing it wrong. You should never be hungry. The key is to eat the right foods so if you eat enough for you to be satisfied all the time, the calories have to be in check. Tons of veggies. Some fruit. This will give you bulk without bulking up your BMI. A good example she gave: use portabella mushrooms to beef up your beef. Grind up the shrooms and mix them in with ground beef to make a huge meatloaf. It cuts down on the calories. Get the picture? Use zucchini noodles to beef up your regular noodles. Its a great idea and has endless possibilities. A person on facebook said she made "rice" by grating cauliflower. GENIUS! I live for stuff like that. But here is where they lost me.
She said that a woman could do this just to fill out her meal with healthy expanders. Not her hubby's or her kids.
Um, insert the record scratch here....
What the cock is that shit? Why wouldn't you want to make the healthiest meal possible for your family. I am already irritated that a successful woman is still chaining other women to the stove for all eternity. Skinny pretty people love a goddamn stereotype. But then to throw in this whole "cook your man what he wants, not what you want" nonsense? He should eat what you were nice enough to cook for him. Its the least he could do for keeping that glass ceiling shiny and oppressive dangling above your stove. Better yet, tell him that he can only eat 70% of what you get and see how quickly your pay starts to rise.
But that got me to thinking about the dynamics of gender in the way we eat. Guys pig out, girls eat like birds. Guys dont get fat like girls do. LIES! If a guy is 20 pounds overweight, its cute. If a girl is, she is a heifer that is to be shamed! Well after you fuck her and tell everyone she took advantage of you. 20 pounds overweight is the same either way. Guys are allowed to love all you can eat buffets. WHY?
Healthy foods are healthy because they cause great chemical reactions in your body. Ridding you of toxins, sustainable energy, proper nutrients. Everyone should eat that. If I was legally allowed to marry (ehem) I would gladly cook for my hubby. SO I would know that he is getting the proper nutrition.
The notion that men are just drooling primates eating transfats all day is just as sexist. Some of the fittest guys I know eat a diet you would think is weak. People have this misconception that the paleo diet consists of finding a gazelle at your local park and sharpening your flint tools to get your friend Ort to help you kill it and eat it while its soul is still trying to escape. In fact its similar to Eat to Live. Lots of leafy green veggies, fruit limited nuts. No gluten, carbs, sugar. Healthy men eat the same stuff that healthy women eat. Because we are both human. A penis is not required to digest spinach. I promise.
All of those ridiculous commercials that we see, like the HungryMan tv dinner, or activia yogurt (because only women need to poop) are just a ploy by food companies to make you buy gender specific foods. Which in and of itself is just laughable. Its like Lady Gilette razors. WTF?!? Razors shave differently for men and women? Normal soup for mom, and SUPER BEEFY EXTRA CHUNKY MAKES YOUR DICK BIGGER CHOWDER for dear old dad! The whole idea is gross. Just eat food that is delicious and natural. Stop buying into the hype of food companies. Their is no gender test for delicious.
I think that Hungry Girl should change her name because it steeped in shame. AWW, she is hungry but she cant eat food because she isnt a man. So super grossy gross. I cant. End Rant!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Monday, November 12, 2012
A new lease on life.
So this weekend was a big step for me. I finally worked my ass off to get to the place I need to be in order to move out. I was stuck at my parents house for 2 1/2 achingly long years. They were tremendous to me during this time of unemployment and fatness. They were so amazing in helping me along this journey. I truly am blessed to have such supportive family. I really am lucky.
As I enter into this new era of my new life, I am a bit weary of what this means for maintaining my exercise and eating regimen. My current eating method comes along with an extremely hefty bill. The cycle of bad choices and easy meals plagues our society. It is a very real thing that I have seen destroy peoples lives. The cost of produce is extremely high compared to the cookies and shit food that we eat everyday.
But I am a fighter. I have come too far to let this trip me up. If this were an easy journey, this blog would be really boring. Well, it could be boring to you anyways but that is a matter of taste. If you dont like it, you have none.
In any event, I have to sign my lease and whatnot, go to the gym, go to the grocery store and figure out where to put the 13 almost empty jars of hair junk that I couldnt throw away because I am apparently a hoarder. So this is a short blog post. Sue me. Well, dont sue me. I have to buy my weight in kale. I need that money.
As I enter into this new era of my new life, I am a bit weary of what this means for maintaining my exercise and eating regimen. My current eating method comes along with an extremely hefty bill. The cycle of bad choices and easy meals plagues our society. It is a very real thing that I have seen destroy peoples lives. The cost of produce is extremely high compared to the cookies and shit food that we eat everyday.
But I am a fighter. I have come too far to let this trip me up. If this were an easy journey, this blog would be really boring. Well, it could be boring to you anyways but that is a matter of taste. If you dont like it, you have none.
In any event, I have to sign my lease and whatnot, go to the gym, go to the grocery store and figure out where to put the 13 almost empty jars of hair junk that I couldnt throw away because I am apparently a hoarder. So this is a short blog post. Sue me. Well, dont sue me. I have to buy my weight in kale. I need that money.
Friday, November 9, 2012
The vote rocked!
This is not a political post. So you can calm down. This blog doesn't deal in such heavy shit. Well, besides my heavy ass. This is about my voting experience at the polls on Tuesday.
I walked into my old elementary school to vote. This is the first time I have been inside it since I was in middle school. So about ten years have passed. (just let me) I always think it is so weird to go back to a childhood place only to see how much smaller it is. Your perception is all out of wack. You feel like Gulliver surrounded by the town of Liliput. In my minds eye, the tiles on the wall were supposed to be at my nose, not my waist. I got me thinking about how I view myself during this weight loss process.
I have touched on this before on my blog. I dont see myself any differently then I did 200 pounds ago. Well 216, but who is counting? Oh thats right, ME! I am still the pear shaped unloveable behemoth that was so fat he couldnt fly on an airplane. Sitting in a theater seat was a battle of my love for theater versus my tolerance for pain as the arm bars dug into my hips. I would have bruises on my legs for days. I dont talk about that often because the bruising on my ego is still there. Clearly. The shame you feel when you bump a table when you are trying to squeeze through to your seat, when they have to move the table so you can sit at a booth. The glances of disappointment when you request a table with chairs because everyone else wants a booth. It still freaks me out when I go to a diner. I assume I cant fit. This all stays with me. It haunts me.
This is why I encourage everyone to be honest and tell people if they look like they have lost weight. We see ourselves everyday and the loss is lost on our eyes. So... what does this have to do with voting? I walked up to the sweet old ladies at the polling station. I had forgotten my voter registration card. The lady asked to see my ID. I gave her my license. She asked me my address. Standard fair. But then she kept looking at me and then down at the license. She didn't believe I was me! I told her that I had lost quite a bit of weight and she said " You sure did!" She then proceeded to show my license to the other workers. They were all floored. It is moments like that which make it all worth it. The ghosts of my past are haunting me less and less. Eventually they will be gone. I hope.
I walked into my old elementary school to vote. This is the first time I have been inside it since I was in middle school. So about ten years have passed. (just let me) I always think it is so weird to go back to a childhood place only to see how much smaller it is. Your perception is all out of wack. You feel like Gulliver surrounded by the town of Liliput. In my minds eye, the tiles on the wall were supposed to be at my nose, not my waist. I got me thinking about how I view myself during this weight loss process.
I have touched on this before on my blog. I dont see myself any differently then I did 200 pounds ago. Well 216, but who is counting? Oh thats right, ME! I am still the pear shaped unloveable behemoth that was so fat he couldnt fly on an airplane. Sitting in a theater seat was a battle of my love for theater versus my tolerance for pain as the arm bars dug into my hips. I would have bruises on my legs for days. I dont talk about that often because the bruising on my ego is still there. Clearly. The shame you feel when you bump a table when you are trying to squeeze through to your seat, when they have to move the table so you can sit at a booth. The glances of disappointment when you request a table with chairs because everyone else wants a booth. It still freaks me out when I go to a diner. I assume I cant fit. This all stays with me. It haunts me.
This is why I encourage everyone to be honest and tell people if they look like they have lost weight. We see ourselves everyday and the loss is lost on our eyes. So... what does this have to do with voting? I walked up to the sweet old ladies at the polling station. I had forgotten my voter registration card. The lady asked to see my ID. I gave her my license. She asked me my address. Standard fair. But then she kept looking at me and then down at the license. She didn't believe I was me! I told her that I had lost quite a bit of weight and she said " You sure did!" She then proceeded to show my license to the other workers. They were all floored. It is moments like that which make it all worth it. The ghosts of my past are haunting me less and less. Eventually they will be gone. I hope.
Friday, November 2, 2012
This makes me feel better.
The battle for getting control over my health and nutrition is a long fought and emotional battle. Every day you are surrounded by people who are eating whatever they want. They can stop at a fast food joint, pay 5 dollars for a whole meal, and they will not be judged for it whatsoever. Conversely, fat people are judged as unhealthy no matter what they are eating. Pity is felt for the fatty who is eating the right thing, but it is their own fault for letting it get that bad. Right? I mean, it is nobody elses. No one made them eat all that food.
The fact that a single cucumber costs one dollar and that same dollar can get you a mcdouble. The convenience that thinner people enjoy is a thing of the past. I have had to come to terms with the fact that I cannot eat out with friends. I have to plan out what I am going to eat. It is a lot of repetitive foods but it is the only way for me to stay consistent. It is really a struggle to constantly say no to others and also to myself. At a local restaraunt, their salad is 1200 calories. Are you fricking kidding me? Thats over half of my calories for the day. FOR A SALAD!
Add to that the headaches that are plaguing me since starting this eating method. It is unreal how hard it can be to do this consistently. How do I find the motivation to keep doing what I am doing?
I have lost 8 pounds in 2 weeks.
period.
You have to trust yourself and trust the method. You have to put faith in the fact that you are doing the right thing. You can't live other people's lives. You can only live yours. My brain has been rewired to crave things it doesn't need. I have to keep fighting to change it back to its natural wants and needs. It is very challenging.
But doing it 8 pounds lighter helps.
The fact that a single cucumber costs one dollar and that same dollar can get you a mcdouble. The convenience that thinner people enjoy is a thing of the past. I have had to come to terms with the fact that I cannot eat out with friends. I have to plan out what I am going to eat. It is a lot of repetitive foods but it is the only way for me to stay consistent. It is really a struggle to constantly say no to others and also to myself. At a local restaraunt, their salad is 1200 calories. Are you fricking kidding me? Thats over half of my calories for the day. FOR A SALAD!
Add to that the headaches that are plaguing me since starting this eating method. It is unreal how hard it can be to do this consistently. How do I find the motivation to keep doing what I am doing?
I have lost 8 pounds in 2 weeks.
period.
You have to trust yourself and trust the method. You have to put faith in the fact that you are doing the right thing. You can't live other people's lives. You can only live yours. My brain has been rewired to crave things it doesn't need. I have to keep fighting to change it back to its natural wants and needs. It is very challenging.
But doing it 8 pounds lighter helps.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
OY!
The madness of this eating method is starting to get to me. I never realized how much starch and grains I was eating. Every time I am hungry and look in the fridge I am at a loss. The book recommends eating two huge salads a day. It is kinda hard to keep up the produce I need. I am flying through this stuff.
The headaches are getting a little better. They are less frequent and not as intense. I am just going to push through and try to stick to this method for at least 3 weeks. That way, I will have reset my brain to not crave the chemicals its missing.
Does anyone have any advice?
Or a loaf of bread?
The headaches are getting a little better. They are less frequent and not as intense. I am just going to push through and try to stick to this method for at least 3 weeks. That way, I will have reset my brain to not crave the chemicals its missing.
Does anyone have any advice?
Or a loaf of bread?
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Holy Headache Batgurl!
So I have been trying to do my best to follow the eating method in Eat To Live. I say eating method because diet implies being hungry. I am not going hungry at anytime. I eat whenever I am hungry. However, I have a crazy headache. It feels like a caffeine headache. This clearly is not the case because I work in a coffee shop. I am guessing that is a side effect of giving up processed foods. I am sticking with it though. I have to push passed this uncomfortable period. If this is the way my body feels when I give something up I dont want to put that shit back in. The book is still snarky as hell and I feel he could say things in a more compassionate way, but his message is a powerful one. I have lost 2 pounds in a week. I am comfortable with that!
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Eat Me.
So I have decided to have a mental reboot of sorts. I feel like I have gotten distracted from my nutrition goals. I just bought a book called Eat To Live by Joel Fuhrman, M.D. I am working my way through the first chapter. I seem to agree with a lot of the things he is saying. I have been eating as much whole natural foods as I can. Long time readers of my blog know that about me. So its a lot of the things that I had come to know from my own experience. But it does sound better when it comes from a fancy doctor type! However, he sounds like such a douche!
I understand the severity of the obesity epidemic in this country. More so than a lot of people. I AM the obesity epidemic. I have worked very diligently towards a better life for myself. We need a wake up call. The fact that Michelle Obama is demonized for trying to get our kids to have proper food served to them is so gross. The urgency is not lost on me.
But you can't get people on your side if you resort to shock and awe bombastery. I feel like the entire introduction sounds like Fox News doom coverage. If I were to paraphrase what he is saying versus how it feels it would go a little something like this, HIT IT:
Hey fatty fat fat. Im Skinny McSmarterthanyou. I hope you enjoy your fatty foods and fat drinks because you are on a super wide fat train to Deathtown. Poulation: everyone. You are all fatties and and should be ashamed of your fat faces. You are all dumb fat puppets on the fat teet of Big Fat and your eyes are to swollen with fat to see it. You are dying from fatness, Fat Man, and you should keep reading this book to be awesome like me. If you can even get your fat sausage fingers to turn my slim, amazing, omniscient pages. fat.
You get the drift. Hopefully this book will get more into the info and less on the fat shaming. We shall see.
I understand the severity of the obesity epidemic in this country. More so than a lot of people. I AM the obesity epidemic. I have worked very diligently towards a better life for myself. We need a wake up call. The fact that Michelle Obama is demonized for trying to get our kids to have proper food served to them is so gross. The urgency is not lost on me.
But you can't get people on your side if you resort to shock and awe bombastery. I feel like the entire introduction sounds like Fox News doom coverage. If I were to paraphrase what he is saying versus how it feels it would go a little something like this, HIT IT:
Hey fatty fat fat. Im Skinny McSmarterthanyou. I hope you enjoy your fatty foods and fat drinks because you are on a super wide fat train to Deathtown. Poulation: everyone. You are all fatties and and should be ashamed of your fat faces. You are all dumb fat puppets on the fat teet of Big Fat and your eyes are to swollen with fat to see it. You are dying from fatness, Fat Man, and you should keep reading this book to be awesome like me. If you can even get your fat sausage fingers to turn my slim, amazing, omniscient pages. fat.
You get the drift. Hopefully this book will get more into the info and less on the fat shaming. We shall see.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Sniff...Sniff... Cough... EAT!
So I had the pleasure of judging a marching band show this weekend. Those that know me personally are fully aware that this is a dream gig for me. The fact that I get paid to do something that I would pay to do is simply amazing. It is awesome to give back to an activity that has given my so much in my life. That being said, it did give me something else this weekend. THE DREADED COLD!
The worst thing about a cold isn't the sniffles. The head congestion I can deal with. The cold sweats are tolerable being that I sweat all the time anyways. For me, the absolute worst part is the inevitable chest cold. I am asthmatic. This is something that I usually can handle through inhalers. However, when I get sick, my lungs seize up like a southern white lady around black people. Clutching their purse tight and panicking silently. Well, not so silently. I sound like that weird dog villain from the Laff-a-lympics.
Clearly, this has put a dent in my cardio routine. Its frustrating because I had already been slacking off before this. Now I feel like I am really doing myself a disservice and taking multiple steps backwards. It is wise in times like this that you have to remember that weight loss is mostly about diet. Some experts say that it is as much as 80% diet. So all you have to do is keep eating well. Problem solved!
Hardly.
As a normal human, when I am sick, I want to feel better. So I want comfort food. I want chicken soup for my fat ass soul. I want peanut butter and jelly. I want creamy chowder. Ice cream! I want anything that might make me want to enjoy life again. And I want all of it. Like now! I am in full blown Veruca Salt golden geese realness def con 5.
And to exacerbate the problem, I am laying in bed all day. Not an ounce of exercise. Well, aside from the ab isolation from coughing all day. The only time I get up is to stuff my face. So gross. And I rationalize all of this because I am sick. Starve a fever, feed a cold. Right? Thats what my grandmother always said. (Of course, she cooks everything in crisco and thinks Obama is a secret muslim. ) My prescription says I have to take my meds with food. Doctors orders, bitch. Now give me my bag of tostitos and pint of ice cream and ...
I trust that you will find yourself in this situation at some point. Just try to be more self aware than I was yesterday. It was a misstep to say the least. But I am back on track today and I am hoping to be back in the gym tomorrow. Or at least by friday. Please by friday, I'm so bored!
The worst thing about a cold isn't the sniffles. The head congestion I can deal with. The cold sweats are tolerable being that I sweat all the time anyways. For me, the absolute worst part is the inevitable chest cold. I am asthmatic. This is something that I usually can handle through inhalers. However, when I get sick, my lungs seize up like a southern white lady around black people. Clutching their purse tight and panicking silently. Well, not so silently. I sound like that weird dog villain from the Laff-a-lympics.
Clearly, this has put a dent in my cardio routine. Its frustrating because I had already been slacking off before this. Now I feel like I am really doing myself a disservice and taking multiple steps backwards. It is wise in times like this that you have to remember that weight loss is mostly about diet. Some experts say that it is as much as 80% diet. So all you have to do is keep eating well. Problem solved!
Hardly.
As a normal human, when I am sick, I want to feel better. So I want comfort food. I want chicken soup for my fat ass soul. I want peanut butter and jelly. I want creamy chowder. Ice cream! I want anything that might make me want to enjoy life again. And I want all of it. Like now! I am in full blown Veruca Salt golden geese realness def con 5.
And to exacerbate the problem, I am laying in bed all day. Not an ounce of exercise. Well, aside from the ab isolation from coughing all day. The only time I get up is to stuff my face. So gross. And I rationalize all of this because I am sick. Starve a fever, feed a cold. Right? Thats what my grandmother always said. (Of course, she cooks everything in crisco and thinks Obama is a secret muslim. ) My prescription says I have to take my meds with food. Doctors orders, bitch. Now give me my bag of tostitos and pint of ice cream and ...
I trust that you will find yourself in this situation at some point. Just try to be more self aware than I was yesterday. It was a misstep to say the least. But I am back on track today and I am hoping to be back in the gym tomorrow. Or at least by friday. Please by friday, I'm so bored!
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
the tank is empty...
Today is one of those days where you want to do yourself a favor. I know that I need to go to the gym. I have not gone since friday. Thats four days off. I know I will feel better about myself after I go. I know that I need to go. I also know there is a Top Chef All Stars marathon on. I am also aware that my bed is comfortable. And I also know that I am better than all of these excuses. The bottom line is, I didnt lose 200+ pounds by listening to these excuses.
I guess the point is, the journey I am on is a constant battle. The battle isnt in the gym. Once you are there, the process takes over. The battle is making the time. The time is there. It is always available. It is tough to let yourself detach from the grid for an hour and wash away the media saturation that we are always consumed in. Perhaps it would be wise to just go to the fucking gym and stop blogging about it. And, don't you worry one second my fat loss voyeurs. I am going to the gym. I think it is important to show that the lack of motivation lives in everyone.
But you cannot let yourself give in. Giving in is what caused me to balloon up to an estimated 500 pounds. Giving in is what lead me to a life of what if's and Should haves. I have to turn my will-do's into have-done's. I heard a great quote on a podcast that I love called Cut The Fat. Download it immediately if you are looking for information on weight loss and healthy living. The quote is so simple and so true:
WTHOUT SELF-AWARENESS, ALL DIETS WILL FAIL!
Read that again. Do it.
You have to have the ability to constantly and consistently be honest with yourself and what you are doing. . You must always be honest with yourself and not cheat your way into failure.. I am better than that. and so are you.
I guess the point is, the journey I am on is a constant battle. The battle isnt in the gym. Once you are there, the process takes over. The battle is making the time. The time is there. It is always available. It is tough to let yourself detach from the grid for an hour and wash away the media saturation that we are always consumed in. Perhaps it would be wise to just go to the fucking gym and stop blogging about it. And, don't you worry one second my fat loss voyeurs. I am going to the gym. I think it is important to show that the lack of motivation lives in everyone.
But you cannot let yourself give in. Giving in is what caused me to balloon up to an estimated 500 pounds. Giving in is what lead me to a life of what if's and Should haves. I have to turn my will-do's into have-done's. I heard a great quote on a podcast that I love called Cut The Fat. Download it immediately if you are looking for information on weight loss and healthy living. The quote is so simple and so true:
WTHOUT SELF-AWARENESS, ALL DIETS WILL FAIL!
Read that again. Do it.
You have to have the ability to constantly and consistently be honest with yourself and what you are doing. . You must always be honest with yourself and not cheat your way into failure.. I am better than that. and so are you.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
I guess I should show an update.
I have been reluctant to put up a recent photo because I wanted to wait till I hit my goal weight. Not that its some amazing svelte weight, its still a beefy 225lbs. and still over 60 pounds away. But being that I have lost over 200 at this point, I guess I should post one so you don't think I am not a genuine fatty on the life journey to a healthy lifestyle. There are a lot of men posing as Syrian Lesbians and what not and would hate to see my blog be lumped in with the fraudulent. So here it is. Though if you know me in real life, this wont be nearly as revelatory.
I still have a ways to go but I thought I would at least give a new face to my blog. I have a lot of followers who are not facebook friends who are looking to kill time at work. They are people like me who are on the same journey and are looking to kill time at work.
Glad I could help!
So to all the new people, welcome! And to the old people, love you so much and thank you for making this journey easier.
Glad I could help!
So to all the new people, welcome! And to the old people, love you so much and thank you for making this journey easier.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
well how about that.
So I recently just celebrated my 23rd birthday ( just let me ) and I took over a week off from working out.Because it was my birthday and that's how I wanted to celebrate. I also drank a lot of alcohol a couple of nights. Because I love to get drunk. So I begrudgingly dragged my lonesome self back to the gym for penance. It was time to face the music. Which, judging from my choices that week, was either late Elvis or early Adele. I knew that this was going to be an interesting weigh in.
So, I white knuckled it, saddled up to the scale and braced for the damage. I wasn't going to freak out or anything. I had made my choice and I was ok with it. You cant spend your whole life fighting a constant battle. Sometimes you just need a respite, if only to suit up for the next battle.
I step on to the scale. The soulless digital screen flashing in a serious of dashes and numbers. Quickly flickering through, like a slot machine where there is no jackpot. Only shame. In the brief time it takes for the number to send down its judgement, I have conversations with myself.
"Well, either way, you are at the gym doing the right thing."
"You seriously have no self-control."
"But, you have done so well so far."
"You would be further along if you never fell off the wagon in the first place."
My mind races like a cocaine driven Gollum from Lord of the Rings. A fat guy debate... on fast forward... with no moderator.
But, to my surprise, I had lost three pounds.
HOT DAMN!
This is why I lose weight the weight slowly. I dont do crossfit, or insanity, or blah blah. I am doing this slowly so my body is doing everything right. I monitor my calories on My Fitness Pal. I excersise. I never go hungry. I just do it slowly so it is sustainable. And I dont beat myself up about enjoying a week. The world will beat you up plenty, dont help it out. Stay happy, stay smart, stay fit.
So, I white knuckled it, saddled up to the scale and braced for the damage. I wasn't going to freak out or anything. I had made my choice and I was ok with it. You cant spend your whole life fighting a constant battle. Sometimes you just need a respite, if only to suit up for the next battle.
I step on to the scale. The soulless digital screen flashing in a serious of dashes and numbers. Quickly flickering through, like a slot machine where there is no jackpot. Only shame. In the brief time it takes for the number to send down its judgement, I have conversations with myself.
"Well, either way, you are at the gym doing the right thing."
"You seriously have no self-control."
"But, you have done so well so far."
"You would be further along if you never fell off the wagon in the first place."
My mind races like a cocaine driven Gollum from Lord of the Rings. A fat guy debate... on fast forward... with no moderator.
But, to my surprise, I had lost three pounds.
HOT DAMN!
This is why I lose weight the weight slowly. I dont do crossfit, or insanity, or blah blah. I am doing this slowly so my body is doing everything right. I monitor my calories on My Fitness Pal. I excersise. I never go hungry. I just do it slowly so it is sustainable. And I dont beat myself up about enjoying a week. The world will beat you up plenty, dont help it out. Stay happy, stay smart, stay fit.
Monday, September 10, 2012
BRRAAAAIINNNSSSS!
So I have been on a netflix tear as of late. Late summer shows only cover a couple of nights for me. To fill my time of required television viewing, I have been watching zombie movies. What can I say, I love me some zombies. Always have. Then it hit me. I am a zombie!
Well, sometimes...
When you get into a rut in your fitness and nutrition routine, it can make you feel like a slow moving, constantly hungry, mindless beast. Just a shell of your former self, shuffling through life looking for sustenance.
Today was one of those days. I went for my morning run. Had two wholly unsatisfying meals. As a rummage through the doomed town that is my cupboard, I am a soulless ghoul. Lethargically pushing around cans of food looking for the sweet, sweet marrow of salty sweet goodness. All the apples in the world are not going to curb my post-apocalyptic craving. Must have bbrrrrrreeeeaaadddd!
Luckily I am not a zombie. I am a grown ass man who can make decisions that are appropriate. I will rise from the dead to fight another day. This day was just particularly hard.
Well, sometimes...
When you get into a rut in your fitness and nutrition routine, it can make you feel like a slow moving, constantly hungry, mindless beast. Just a shell of your former self, shuffling through life looking for sustenance.
Today was one of those days. I went for my morning run. Had two wholly unsatisfying meals. As a rummage through the doomed town that is my cupboard, I am a soulless ghoul. Lethargically pushing around cans of food looking for the sweet, sweet marrow of salty sweet goodness. All the apples in the world are not going to curb my post-apocalyptic craving. Must have bbrrrrrreeeeaaadddd!
Luckily I am not a zombie. I am a grown ass man who can make decisions that are appropriate. I will rise from the dead to fight another day. This day was just particularly hard.
Monday, August 27, 2012
C25k all day.
So, I have finished my month long bulking phase. I needed a break from all the cardio. So I concentrated on putting on muscle. I might have worked. I cant really tell because I am fat. So I am just assuming that there is a cast member from 300 trapped under my fat. Just go with it.
But now I am starting my next cardio phase. It is a program called C25k. From the couch to a 5k run in 9 weeks. I have always hated running, and if today is any indication, I will continue to hate it. But its only 2 months and I have spent a lot more than that doing terrible things to my body. So I figure it is only fair.
So, I did a shit ton of research to find out if this is something I can do. In my search I found a lot of testimonials. Those things make me want to vomit. All of them are people who were already athletes in high school or college. Then they put on 40 pounds and just couldnt live with themselves any longer. Fuck you. My fucking goal weight is 40 pounds overweight. The only thing more irritating than those testimonials are the Insanity Workout before and after pictures. Are you fucking kidding me with this? It shows people who have abs in the before picture. I cant think of anything more ridiculous. Dont believe me?
Your life must have been such a struggle before fatty. Gross.
So needless to say, my venture is going to be a lot tougher than the wonder stories of ex-track stars who put on some marriage carriage. I guess this whole program is a bit out of my reach but I am going to stick with it anyways. If anything, it will make for good blogging fodder.
But now I am starting my next cardio phase. It is a program called C25k. From the couch to a 5k run in 9 weeks. I have always hated running, and if today is any indication, I will continue to hate it. But its only 2 months and I have spent a lot more than that doing terrible things to my body. So I figure it is only fair.
So, I did a shit ton of research to find out if this is something I can do. In my search I found a lot of testimonials. Those things make me want to vomit. All of them are people who were already athletes in high school or college. Then they put on 40 pounds and just couldnt live with themselves any longer. Fuck you. My fucking goal weight is 40 pounds overweight. The only thing more irritating than those testimonials are the Insanity Workout before and after pictures. Are you fucking kidding me with this? It shows people who have abs in the before picture. I cant think of anything more ridiculous. Dont believe me?
Your life must have been such a struggle before fatty. Gross.
So needless to say, my venture is going to be a lot tougher than the wonder stories of ex-track stars who put on some marriage carriage. I guess this whole program is a bit out of my reach but I am going to stick with it anyways. If anything, it will make for good blogging fodder.
Friday, July 20, 2012
THIS... IS... SPORADICALLY SUCCESSFUL!!!!
So I have finally broke the 300 pound barrier. I am back in the 200's which I have not seen in about a decade. I am sure you are wondering why there are no exclamation points being used. Well, frankly, I am exhausted. To say that this is a struggle is putting it lightly. It took me a month to lose 7 pounds. A whole fucking month. That is why you shouldn't use scales. It makes you want to give up. You just can't. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. It is painful, heart wrenching, exhausting, and it takes its toll on you. I am not saying this to scare you away from it. The rewards are plentiful, and people always talk about that. They don't tell you about the dark side of it. And that is wrong. You need to be aware of it. You need to know that this is a long hard road that is not pleasant. The road is hot, sweaty, smelly, with rashes, sore knees, and back pain. But it is not the road that you need to concern yourself with. It is the haven that is at the end of the road. That place where you find yourself standing in the world you wanted for yourself. It is so far away, but it is still there none the less, and you are only going to get there if you keep moving.
This song is my ultra gay anthem for motivation. The amount of times I have cried to this is obscene.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Im back bitches!
So, it has been well over a year since my last post. I feel like I should explain this. However, you are not going to like the explanation.
I stopped doing the blog because I thought it would be a turn off to potential suitors to read about my weight loss exploits. It is hard to put yourself out there to be judged whether it is good or bad. It can be quite embarrassing. I have come to realize, that is fucking stupid. It is stupid for two reasons:
A.) I don't have anyone courting me.
II.)This struggle is very much a part of me. The success I have had so far could be helping people to reach their own goals. It is selfish for me to keep this journey to myself so I can seem more attractive to other people. So dumb.
(editor's note: this is not to be read as a cry for shouts of how beautiful I am. Unless you want to makeout, you are just saying that you think I'm beautiful, but not hot enough to hook up with. I know I am a beautiful person.)
On that note, I am nearing my 200 pound weight loss. I might have reached it but I am not weighing myself for four more days. We will get to that in a second. So people want to know what my secrets are. I have decided to share them with you. These weight loss secrets will blow your mind. It is so simple to lose weight. Are you ready? Here we go!
1. People are dicks. You would think that you would get constant encouragement from your friends and family. When you see a friend and you have lost 5 pounds since seeing them, you expect a congratulatory hug. This is a false belief 90% of the time. Most people are afraid of saying something about it. Weight is a touchy subject for everyone. They take the risk of seeming like they are noticing something that didn't happen. For example, if you haven't lost any pounds(or even gained some), the compliment can seem fake. We have been marginalized for our weight for so long we tend to shun compliments. We find any excuse to not believe them. So, don't worry about what the scale says and just except the fucking compliment already!
2. Scales are the fucking devil. Just stop it already. You know it is going to piss you off. Why put yourself through it. Weigh yourself once a month. Twice a month tops. The last thing you need to see after four days of cardio is that you have gained a pound. It is soul crushing. The scale can wreck your motivation in 4 seconds flat. It is unreal. You need to start thinking of your weight loss as a byproduct of your healthier lifestyle. Your goal should be to live better. Eat better. Exercise more. The weight will come off eventually. It is going to be slow. Way slower than the bitches on The Biggest Loser.
3. The Biggest Loser is horseshit. This show has done nothing but propagate crash dieting and diet pills. These people have a personal training STAFF, a chef, everything is monitored. It is in no way shape or from a weight loss regimen. They lose ten pounds a week. This will not happen to you. And it shouldn't. Because it is a horrible way to lose weight. It took you years to but on this weight and it will take you years to take it off. They are not role models for you. The weight will not stay off. And their "experts" are just there to market their herbal speed pills that give you "so much energy". Yeah honey, its fucking speed. Chinese Herbal Speed, but speed none the less.
4. Everyone is a fucking expert. Don't listen to people. They are stupid. Don't watch youtube. Don't read this blog. Even trainers. Fact: Your personal trainer has never had to deal with your struggle. They were athletes in high school. They became a trainer so they could live in the gym. Their transformation was getting cut. Not dropping 60 pounds. Unless you are at your goal weight, they are useless. Go to a nutritionist, read about processed foods. Read about whole foods. And then eat them. A lot of them. If you are hungry, eat. Eat well and eat often. If you are hungry you are doing it wrong.
5. My Fitness Pal is an expert. Download it. Use it. It will change they way you think about food. Point systems kind of work, but this shows you exactly what nutrients you have or are missing. Diet Cokes have zero points and about a million grams of sodium. You will soon discover that you start making wiser food choices to meet your nutrition goals. If you want to never be hungry 4 apples last a lot longer than a bag of pretzels.
6. The BIG WEIGHT LOSS SECRET. There is no secret. Eat good whole foods and exercise. Diet and exercise. That's it. It is going to take you forever. That's fine. Years and years. It is going to be ok. This isn't a diet. This is the way you eat for the rest of your life. It's called being healthy. Get into it. I am sorry if you feel let down. But, if you recall, I said that it would be simple, not fast and easy.
1. People are dicks. You would think that you would get constant encouragement from your friends and family. When you see a friend and you have lost 5 pounds since seeing them, you expect a congratulatory hug. This is a false belief 90% of the time. Most people are afraid of saying something about it. Weight is a touchy subject for everyone. They take the risk of seeming like they are noticing something that didn't happen. For example, if you haven't lost any pounds(or even gained some), the compliment can seem fake. We have been marginalized for our weight for so long we tend to shun compliments. We find any excuse to not believe them. So, don't worry about what the scale says and just except the fucking compliment already!
2. Scales are the fucking devil. Just stop it already. You know it is going to piss you off. Why put yourself through it. Weigh yourself once a month. Twice a month tops. The last thing you need to see after four days of cardio is that you have gained a pound. It is soul crushing. The scale can wreck your motivation in 4 seconds flat. It is unreal. You need to start thinking of your weight loss as a byproduct of your healthier lifestyle. Your goal should be to live better. Eat better. Exercise more. The weight will come off eventually. It is going to be slow. Way slower than the bitches on The Biggest Loser.
3. The Biggest Loser is horseshit. This show has done nothing but propagate crash dieting and diet pills. These people have a personal training STAFF, a chef, everything is monitored. It is in no way shape or from a weight loss regimen. They lose ten pounds a week. This will not happen to you. And it shouldn't. Because it is a horrible way to lose weight. It took you years to but on this weight and it will take you years to take it off. They are not role models for you. The weight will not stay off. And their "experts" are just there to market their herbal speed pills that give you "so much energy". Yeah honey, its fucking speed. Chinese Herbal Speed, but speed none the less.
4. Everyone is a fucking expert. Don't listen to people. They are stupid. Don't watch youtube. Don't read this blog. Even trainers. Fact: Your personal trainer has never had to deal with your struggle. They were athletes in high school. They became a trainer so they could live in the gym. Their transformation was getting cut. Not dropping 60 pounds. Unless you are at your goal weight, they are useless. Go to a nutritionist, read about processed foods. Read about whole foods. And then eat them. A lot of them. If you are hungry, eat. Eat well and eat often. If you are hungry you are doing it wrong.
5. My Fitness Pal is an expert. Download it. Use it. It will change they way you think about food. Point systems kind of work, but this shows you exactly what nutrients you have or are missing. Diet Cokes have zero points and about a million grams of sodium. You will soon discover that you start making wiser food choices to meet your nutrition goals. If you want to never be hungry 4 apples last a lot longer than a bag of pretzels.
6. The BIG WEIGHT LOSS SECRET. There is no secret. Eat good whole foods and exercise. Diet and exercise. That's it. It is going to take you forever. That's fine. Years and years. It is going to be ok. This isn't a diet. This is the way you eat for the rest of your life. It's called being healthy. Get into it. I am sorry if you feel let down. But, if you recall, I said that it would be simple, not fast and easy.
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