Manwich meal?

Against better judgement, I found my self neck deep in Dr. Oz. In case you are not familiar, Dr. Oz was promoted by Oprah Winfrey. Unlike Dr. Phil, he actually is a licensed doctor in an actual medical field. ( you should wiki Dr. Phil, gross) However, that doesn't mean he isn't a quack, it just means he is a quack who sells his soul to the devil to pay off his student loan debts. If you watch the show regularly, you will find that it is a revolving door of bullshit fad diets and get skinny fast malarkey. Snake oil tonics that blast belly fat! YAY! Anyone who has done an ounce of research knows that you cant target where you lose the fat. He may regurgitate long dispelled myths and spreading false hope, but its sweeps dammit!

That being said, sometimes you can get some great information on the show. Some legitimately helpful hints. But you have to slog through the muck and mire of charlatan hoohah to get to the very few nuggets of nutrition. Today was one of those days.

They had their Hungry Girl on today. Yes that is her stage name. We will get to that in a minute. She was talking about food expanders. I know. Thats not thing. Is that a thing? The idea behind it is, you use a healthy food to beef up your normal food to create bigger portions. Satiety, which she says in a weird way every time, is the key to a sustainable diet. I completely agree. When people ask me for advice I tell them, if you are hungry, you are doing it wrong. You should never be hungry. The key is to eat the right foods so if you eat enough for you to be satisfied all the time, the calories have to be in check. Tons of veggies. Some fruit. This will give you bulk without bulking up your BMI. A good example she gave: use portabella mushrooms to beef up your beef. Grind up the shrooms and mix them in with ground beef to make a huge meatloaf. It cuts down on the calories. Get the picture? Use zucchini noodles to beef up your regular noodles. Its a great idea and has endless possibilities. A person on facebook said she made "rice" by grating cauliflower. GENIUS! I live for stuff like that. But here is where they lost me.

She said that a woman could do this just to fill out her meal with healthy expanders. Not her hubby's or her kids.

Um, insert the record scratch here....

What the cock is that shit? Why wouldn't you want to make the healthiest meal possible for your family. I am already irritated that a successful woman is still chaining other women to the stove for all eternity. Skinny pretty people love a goddamn stereotype. But then to throw in this whole "cook your man what he wants, not what you want" nonsense? He should eat what you were nice enough to cook for him. Its the least he could do for keeping that glass ceiling shiny and oppressive dangling above your stove. Better yet, tell him that he can only eat 70% of what you get and see how quickly your pay starts to rise.

But that got me to thinking about the dynamics of gender in the way we eat. Guys pig out, girls eat like birds. Guys dont get fat like girls do. LIES! If a guy is 20 pounds overweight, its cute. If a girl is, she is a heifer that is to be shamed! Well after you fuck her and tell everyone she took advantage of you. 20 pounds overweight is the same either way.  Guys are allowed  to love all you can eat buffets. WHY?

Healthy foods are healthy because they cause great chemical reactions in your body. Ridding you of toxins, sustainable energy, proper nutrients. Everyone should eat that. If I was legally allowed to marry (ehem) I would gladly cook for my hubby. SO I would know that he is getting the proper nutrition.

The notion that men are just drooling primates eating transfats all day is just as sexist. Some of the fittest guys I know eat a diet you would think is weak. People have this misconception that the paleo diet consists of finding a gazelle at your local park and sharpening your flint tools to get your friend Ort to help you kill it and eat it while its soul is still trying to escape. In fact its similar to Eat to Live. Lots of leafy green veggies, fruit limited nuts. No gluten, carbs, sugar. Healthy men eat the same stuff that healthy women eat. Because we are both human. A penis is not required to digest spinach. I promise.

All of those ridiculous commercials that we see, like the HungryMan tv dinner, or activia yogurt (because only women need to poop) are just a ploy by food companies to  make you buy gender specific foods. Which in and of itself is just laughable. Its like Lady Gilette razors. WTF?!? Razors shave differently for men and women? Normal soup for mom, and SUPER BEEFY EXTRA CHUNKY MAKES YOUR DICK BIGGER CHOWDER for dear old dad! The whole idea is gross. Just eat food that is delicious and natural. Stop buying into the hype of food companies. Their is no gender test for delicious.

I think that Hungry Girl should change her name because it steeped in shame. AWW, she is hungry but she cant eat food because she isnt a man. So super grossy gross. I cant. End Rant!